sleep.

I think evening naps are going to become part of my routine, since I'm not sleeping enough. I'm a little bleary, but I think I will feel better tomorrow.

Speaking of feeling better, I think everyone should own colored underwear. Really. I mean, if you wear boxers you've probably already got colors, but it's the briefs where color becomes really important. You can't quite get them in jewel tones, but Hanes makes these briefs in nice saturated colors, and comfy. I think red underwear makes the world a better place.

Sounds like a couple more dojo people are reading this, off and on. It's interesting how that changes the experience of writing here: it's so much easier to rant about my life to complete anonymous strangers. With people I know, I keep wondering if I wrote something that's going to make somebody not like me any more.

That's the real fear. People who don't know me yet, or don't like me already, can sod off if they don't like me for who I am. It's just the fear of losing the people I've got. It's silly, in a way, because I'm pretty good about being myself these days, so people get to like or dislike me on my merits.


Tired. Psychologically I feel like I've been in a fight; but psychologically I kinda have. Thinking a bit about violence, and the varying degrees of aggression we all deal with; anger, the desire to hurt and destroy, for whatever reason, or no reason at all (yesterday's poem was maybe a bit dramatic, but it needed out of my head, and by the time I actually set it down I was feeling much better). Somehow we have to find a peace with that violence, understanding and redirecting it. Practicing aikido does this very naturally and unconsciously for me, one of many reasons why it's so important. I want to become something beyond conflict. It's within reach, and I have stretches and tastes of it.

Life is good.


Chris