I so enjoyed not going to the office yesterday that I decided to do it again today. I am constantly appreciating the amount of autonomy and credibility I have at my job. Of course, my progress hit a big scary wall, but that's okay, as I've left myself lots of time for that.
My mind's been a bit jumpy and distracted this past month. I'm amazed at how much I sometimes want something solid to cling to, like a sense of myself, or a sense of awareness, or a girlfriend, or one of my various skills. But there isn't everything. The entire universe, including me, is nothing but constant change. And deep down, I know that and I see it and feel it and accept it, but some layers over that is all this wanting and craving. Fortunately, it's silly, and it doesn't really have the power to move me. If I focus on breathing and focus on each moment of doing something, like moving dishes around and picking up a knife, I settle back down.
Kelly is selling her Ninja 650, and I'm almost psychologically ready to cut the check. I love my 250, and it'll be a bit before I sell it because I can't find the title, but I don't want to put the money in to make it a good bike for touring, and Kelly's already got some gizmos to make that more comfortable, including a ludicrously expensive and nice made-for-motorcycles GPS she'll sell me too. I'm doing my customary waffling on large purchases, but I sat on one for a little bit at the dealership and I'm just about ready to go. (It's a sweet bike, by all accounts. I asked the salesguy, "Did anything change from the 2006?" "Nope, nothing. They didn't do anything wrong in 2006, so they left it for 2007.") I wish this were happening a few months from now, but what the hell. Sometimes you have to just jump in and go with it. Plus, this way I'll be comfortable on the bike in time for summer roadtrips.