As of my leaving the office this evening during one of the recurring Dumb Conversations of my team (some jackass suggested again that we focus on Java) I am on vacation. For a while. Until at least January 3rd. The VP of Engineering did notice my sudden departure, but my boss truthfully said I was showing signs of burnout and he ordered me to take off.
Though I'm concerned about the weather, I'm planning to head down to the Mojave National Preserve, on the 26th if not sooner, and stay there as long as I need to. Last night as I was falling asleep I managed to shift my mood back into a more balanced place; but I need to let go and find a path inside myself that I can follow. While I manage the shifts better than ever, the moods themselves are not improving, and I need to level myself out. A lot of that is diet, but beyond that and just as important is letting go of all the cruft of my experiences that I cling to like a failing liferaft. The way things are...this isn't working.
Yow, 31F in Barstow. I need to check the rating on my sleeping bag to make sure I'm not miserable. (Given I'll have warm clothing, that's not cold enough to kill me, even if my gear isn't quite up to snuff; but I've done a cold night on a mountain before, and it sucks worse than the one time I slept in the street.) Also need to find my camera.