since you put it that way...

In the interests of getting out of the house tonight (after a day of getting out of the house by driving down to Stanford and sitting in my camp chair reading among the Rodin sculptures), I decided to head up to SF to see some random show at 12 Galaxies, a bar named for material on Frank Chu's protest posters. Between delays in the show starting (75 minutes after advertised time) and my general lack of attention span, I saw about ten minutes of one band, and that was it: The Midnight Bombers, kind of harmless friendly punk-metal. But I had fun visiting The City.

I've been here for six years now, the most settled I've ever been. (Growing up in my hometown, which I didn't choose and didn't like that much, doesn't count.) I sometimes, like now, consider moving on, but just out of a feeling of wanting to get away and start over, because I'm at a place of not knowing where to go or what to do with myself to make new friends or find new (or any) lovers, and those are important things. I love my friends, but they are Far[tm], and there's a certain kind of growing that seems to only come from getting to know people from the beginning. And then the "lover" situation is enough to make anyone want to change timezones.

I mean, I *could* leave. I have a lot of terrific and rareified experience from my current job that I could take and apply elsewhere. But it's a good job so far, and I'd like to finish a standard job cycle of 2-5 years, even more for myself than to leave on good terms with the company. I get paid better here, especially with my low rent; my dojo is down the street; I love the food; and the friends I already know are here. Where would I go? Only Seattle comes to mind...but as much as I might fantasize about running away, it's not time for me to go anywhere yet. I have stuff to do. Just...don't quite know what it is, yet. Surely a memo is forthcoming.