I haven't been this angry in a long time--some number of years. And it's good, it's wonderful. I want passion, anger, feeling. Anger bubbles up from inside, contorts my face with just a small amount of tension. Most of me is quite relaxed. Anger radiates out from my eyes, pure and clean, resolved. I'm not helpless. I can do and be what I want.

This, the way that I am and the things that happen in my life. My intentions, my desires, and the direction they move reality.

This is not what I want for myself.

    Dear God:
    Screw you. I'm going to change my life, playing by the rules you set
    up, and I don't need your help this time. Not that you offered.

    Lots of love,

I have no fucking idea what's gonna give, but it's not gonna be me. This bullshit is going to change.