what were you expecting?

I assume I'm losing weight or gaining muscle again or something. People are noticing some kind of difference coming from my training more. Probably a natural result of more training and eating a bit less crap.

I had vague notions of getting some fresh air today, maybe with a hike, but instead I looked at CamelBak backpacks, discovered that my local outdoors store doesn't currently have cargo shorts to replace the current pairs, and failed for the second day in a row to buy a new couch from Ikea. (After they didn't have it yesterday and said they'd have it today, I even called ahead. They said they had it; of course, they had the leather version, not the fabric version. Crazy.) I finally left the house with some books and spent a few hours at Coupa Cafe and walking around Palo Alto. Another weekend that sort of encapsulates the question of what's going on with my life (internal and external) right now. I don't think there's any lack of dynamism at the moment; just that I'm not accepting it all for what it is. I have this persistent and rarely-helpful idea that the things I want are the things that should be. It makes it difficult to see and allow what the universe is giving me.

I've been a bit of a hermit this week, taking time to recharge and get on with things with a bit better mood. In a way that's actually pretty rare for me, I haven't wanted to talk to anyone much (sorry, Mom). I'm not specifically unhappy; just a bit irritable and spaced-out. In a way these hermit-times are the most severe consequence of my being introverted: normally I'm highly social, and the introversion just makes me a little weird (other, different things make me a lot weird). But if I can't move in the world with quiet awareness and a light heart, it's best to come back to that center point by myself until I can, at least while it's just me involved.