Careful readers may have noticed in my story of the Marina party Friday night that I wasn't being very "nice" to those people. I don't know that I was really going out of my way, though--I decided to be myself in a way that I thought they wouldn't be able to deal with. As Clarence Darrow said, "The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Those were some pretty comfortable people. It's not healthy to be that comfortable. There's no challenge in it, no soul. You shrivel up and die inside without noticing.
Plus I was bored, I wanted to see who that girl really was, and it was fun. I mean, let's be honest here.
Less than a month until my high school reunion. Not many people signed up so far; maybe I'll just drink champagne with my favorite faculty members and the one or two people coming that I could hang out with.
The only thing I read in my alumni magazine is the class notes, starting with the obituaries. My father always read the obituaries in the paper, which makes sense for him because he knows people whose obituaries would appear in the paper (now that I think of it, I should plan ahead and start asking my friends to make a website at www.chrisisgone.net when I die, and just pass the URL around). Only a handful of people, as you'd expect, and no one I knew particularly well, but I'd still put them in the "too young to die" category.
It's been sort of an emotional month, with a lot of feelings clamoring for attention and expression, and me not particularly interested in letting any of them through because I was doing just fine focusing on my day to day life and ignoring all the cruft in my head I don't really know what to do with, thankyouverymuch. But there's nothing to do, of course, just to allow and feel and experience and they'll pass through. I hope they do, anyway. I got shit to do.
At least I have some headroom to process everything because I'm not dating. See, this is why everyone should quietly and peacefully want someone unavailable. *grin* It does allow for a sense of clarity, though. I think, this time around, when I can have that clarity in a relationship, a relationship of some sort will happen. We can set up a betting pool to see how many years it is.
I'm looking at houses/condos again for some reason. It seems a little insane, especially when I look at the Bay Area Housing Crash page, which as it turns out is constantly updated with new commentary and news articles. It's really more of a gamble than I was expecting in buying something; the only way to hedge the bet is to not buy anything I really feel is outrageously priced, and to arrange things so that if necessary I can hold on to the property for a decade and wait for values to come back after a crash (however much of a bubble the Bay Area may have, there's also a lot of demand exceeding supply, and that's not going to change any time soon, unless everyone forecloses when their ARMs come due, but contrary to the Crash website, I believe foreclosures are down).
See, it's so much easier to write about real estate than feelings. Booooring.
Stuff is hard. Let's go shopping!