I miss my cat.

Okay, not my cat as such, but the neighborhood semi-feral cat that used to hang out on my porch--Ninja, a nice quiet little Siamese with the top inch of her right ear missing. I've been giving her kitty treats for a while, to encourage her to stick around. Alas, I think she got into a fight on the porch one night: around 5am, my housemate and I were woken up by the noise, and in the morning I found a whole bunch of white fur and a little bit of Ninja-colored fur. Maybe some other cat attacked her in what she thought was a sanctuary and she freaked out, or something. She's been abused, and she's not quite right in the head--can't smell or see too well either, as far as I could tell. I hope she comes back.

People are complicated.

I'm reading this book. It's really remarkable. It's already made me want to cry once or twice--not exactly a common occurrence for me. It's really worth reading even if you're not married since it's a general re-thinking and discussion of how we keep hold of ourselves and grow in relationships at the same time. It's giving me a lot to think about, remembering the one really great working relationship, the two-year painful fire of a relationship that, looking on the bright side, helped propel me to where I am; and the other relationships which were mostly generic clusterfucks. I guess the sad bit is recognizing all the patterns of mutual anger and emotional fusion, and having participated in them and seen them in other couples; also sad, but hopeful, is that apparently you can actually work with that and learn from it. We certainly didn't. I'm not sure it would have done any good: really, we should have just parted ways after a few weeks.

Oh well. Can't think about relationships too much. I got shit to do.

My uke for testing in June is sick again. While I wish him a speedy recovery, it does give me a break from my commitment to train for the test, which is good, because I'm not particularly excited about testing. My aikido's been, well, not good, for a couple months now, and it's been frustrating. When I loosen up and have fun with it, I lose some of details and specifics it seems I need for the test. It's not up to me whether I'm *able* to test; if uke and the instructor think I should test, I'll do it, and that'd be nice because then it will be over and done with. I'm not in a hurry, though.

I hung lights for a party yesterday. During setup these two guys were operating on an amplifier--re-soldering some audio and power connectors, JB-welding some widget that broke off when the thing was dropped down some stairs. Three thousand watts per channel. Apparently the next revision of that model has a sign that says "Remove all jewelry. Keep long hair away from case. Lethal voltages contained." Excellent.