yay, weather! and staying out of the shadows.

I went up to Camp & Sons for Chillits again this year. It was cold, of all the crazy things: it probably didn't break 70F during the day. And it RAINED! We're all sitting around exclaiming how we've all been going there for years and it's never been that cold and it's never even threatened rain, even in September.

This was my first trip in quite some time with a, erm, traveling companion. That went pretty well, at least at the time. In retrospect we're not quite so sure...I had a trippy emotional response to a discussion today. I went straight into a really negative headspace that I haven't been in since leaving the Bad Relationship behind around 2 years ago. So my end of the conversation was not as productive as it could have been, but I'm crawling out of that headspace now and back to being myself, though I'm still awfully unbalanced. Aikido tomorrow will help. It really was a horrible emotional flashback, and I lost control to it a few times before coming back. I'm amazed how powerful the echoes are from that dark time in my life, when I thought I'd left them behind. I can identify the triggers, a series of things that just didn't come up in my previous relationship. So eventually I'll be able to explain what happened and why, although that won't say much about what happens with this relationship, which has, anyway, been a sequence of honest, fun, transient moments since starting several months ago.

The best part, as always, is that I get to remain myself afterward.