So I had no idea the automotive abominations were quite that big, but apparently it's illegal to drive SUVs on many California roads, as well as many other places across the country.

Work is bugging me again. I had a task that looked simple enough--we're importing a bunch of sales data into our database, and the groundwork had been done for this customer--and I estimated it would be done on July 22nd. Tomorrow will it will be two weeks late, and Jerry is starting to turn the screws a little bit. I haven't been slacking, particularly: the whole thing has just been rife with unforeseen complications, piled on top of no more than four actual bugs in my code, all of which have been one-line fixes. We're going to have a Discussion[tm] whenever the bloody thing is finished, which I'm sure will be wonderful. He's going to say he thinks it should have been done faster or I should have better estimated my time; I will run down the list of everything that went wrong and ask what I might have done differently to expedite the process; he will have few or token suggestions, remain unhappy about the amount of time it took, maintain his suspicion that it could have been done faster if I really applied myself, and quite possibly insist that I can do the next customer (which has even more problems than the current customer) more quickly if I just apply myself. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's like junior high school, only this time I'm actually working decently hard, and I have far better things to do with my time than work even harder.

It's very possible I should have made up another deadline when I missed the first one. I'm sure it will come up.

I've been keeping track of what's been bugging me, exactly, and my frustration does actually come from the lateness of the project.

  1. I have both an ego and a work ethic: I pride myself on being smart and doing good work in a relatively timely manner, and this is one of the least timely things I've done.
  2. My life is more pleasant without Jerry sniping at me.
  3. I'm banging my head against something difficult but tedious (do I look like a fucking accountant?), and I don't feel particularly well-paid and have an overwhelming skepticism that that will change.
  4. There's a part of me that's a sucker and wants to work harder and get it done because I want to believe there's a reward for doing so. Which there isn't, in my experience, and given the salary structure of my company, there won't be, at least not for another two or three years. Which, you know. Fuck them.
Good thing no one but my parents reads this. They might think I don't like my job. (Hi, Mom and Dad.)

I actually got a call from a recruiter the other day, who had worked for a startup I'd sent my resume to two years ago, and now works for the next startup founded by the same guy. I love the inevitable "How much are you making at my current job?". They're really not expecting it when you say, "Um...not enough. My salary requirements aren't exorbitant. How about we talk about that when we get to that point?". The startup sounds bogus, but it's nice to keep my eyes open. This was supposedd to be sort of a stopgap job, anyway, and because it's stable and secure and generally not unpleasant (just irritating) I need to be wary of thinking I'll stay just a little while longer to see if things get better. He who hesitates is lost, as Mom used to say (I think mostly when I was learning to drive).

Aikido test in about four weeks. Everyone seems to think I'm testing for one rank above what I am, which I'll take as a compliment, even if I feel awkward and musclebound. As long as I'm paying attention and fully engaged in being awkward and musclebound, everything will be fine.