There may be nothing finer in this world than getting a bunch of incredible aikido people together to drink lots and lots and lots of premium sake.
Today I discovered that, if I can avoid the whole I'm-not-worthy thing, most women will, in fact, give me the time of day. The one in particular that I'm after turns out to be quite friendly and accessible, and maybe even a bit shy. And I like her even more after training with and talking to her than I did looking at her and being intimidated, so that's always nice.
Good days and bad days amuse me. On a bad day I feel disconnected and alone, but I'm still myself and I still do aikido. On a good day I take the morning off to get coffee and go to the library, I smile at everything and everyone, I talk to the beautiful girl I like, I train with the beautiful girl I like and she likes training with me. Everything changes and Is moment to moment. (By way of background, training for aikido people is almost the highest form of communication. The underlying things about you come out in your training: your aggression, control issues, anxieties, and hesitation, as well as your courage, your integrity, your care for others, and your willingness to trust. It's not exactly a substitute for conversation, but your training usually forms the foundation of your relationships with other aikidoka, and conversation is an (important) overlying layer.)
I think I'll pass out now, after a long day in a life where with a little bit of effort, nothing is certain.