overwhelming food for thought.

I went to Storm Sessions today, which was mostly lots of fun. It was nice to meet some new people and reconnect with old ones. There was supposed to be a panel calling "Making Friends Instead of Exes", run by a recently-broken-up couple from Vancouver, but they didn't come, I'd imagine because of the hassles involved. Good day, but a lot of focused listening and talking, so I'm very tired.

Lots to think about, though, like the role of jealousy in open relationships, the role it played in my last relationship, and how I might manage it more effectively in the future. The "Family Ties" panel was nice, too, as there are a whole host of issues involved in bringing children into the communities that originated in electronic dance collectives like Cloudfactory--not just how to deal with our experiences and feelings about psychoactives, but also issues about what are appropriate kinds of behaviors for them to find out about/be around/engage in. By now many kids have grown to adulthood or near-adulthood in communities like these, and a lot of the parents shared stories (and a lot of the non-parents--I was stunned at the number of people around my age whose parents had used drugs). I disgreed with some of their choices, but I don't think the kids had any more problems than one would normally expect, some had less (apparently there's a remarkable ten-year old in the community who has seen everything and is completely laid-back and wonderful), and all have turned out fine.

While this has been the case for a long time, for some reason it became very clear to me today that sex is not at all the most important thing to me. It also occurred to me to wonder if my lack of excitement about women over the past few months is because I haven't met the right one, or if I'm just scared of them again.