urk.

My exposure to infected children on Thanksgiving may have stuck me with something after all, since my throat started hurting pretty quickly this afternoon. I've been eating carrots since last night--whole, unpeeled carrots. I saw a guy eating one on TV and thought, "Hey, that sounds good," and I've probably eaten seven or eight carrots since then. I've seriously drifted from my meat-and-vegetables diet, and it shows, both in how I feel and the way my midsection has just inflated in an unappealing kind of way.

I'm not doing much for seeking out company at the moment, because I can feel that I want people to like me, and that helps life be less fun. If I speak from what I think people want me to be, instead of whatever I am, I don't really do anyone any good--nothing works right.

My plan for tomorrow involves going into the office, possibly yelling at stupid people at other companies (yet again, as if it does any good), grabbing my laptop, and working from home. That way I get Full-On Nap Potential™, plus I won't nail anyone at work, if I'm contagious. It's an awful time to get sick, with the company Christmas dinner on Wednesday, the Saotome seminar this weekend, and my test on Tuesday. On the bright side I actually got to train with my uke tonight, and everything looks okay.

Some of you may remember Dungeons & Dragons, the role-playing progenitor most conspicuous for inciting panic about Satanism and for using polyhedral dice--not just 6 sides, but also 4, 8, 10, 12, and 20. (Also known as the Platonic solids, the only 3-dimensional shapes that can be made solely out of identical regular polygons.) Somewhat curiously, it looks like the Romans used icosahedral dice as well.

Life feels very slow lately. Not that I have anywhere I'm not going; nor do I feel particularly static. I'm not allowing much in the way of pressure to get to me. I'm staying fairly relaxed through the crunches and stupid stuff at work. I'm annoyed but not especially stressed by my car which has one working headlight and a fucked-up hood. I have a couple of things in my life I'd like to be different, and some of those (like my encroaching pudginess) I have some control over, and others (like some of my relationships) I don't, so much. And that's okay. My world doesn't end. I think I recognize this slowing down, like an old friend I'd forgotten. It's the feel of Being.

Well. Yay.


Chris