hmph.

The White House CIA leak in a nutshell.

I am slowly emerging victorious at work. I have three large projects which are theoretically to be done by end of day Friday. It's not going to happen, but I appreciate that my job has a sense of humor.

Little brother called this evening, so I got to ramble about Gnostic writings and the history of early Christianity. I bailed on aikido, thus invoking the Flake Rule: if I skip on a night I should have gone, I have to go the next night. I've been cranky yesterday and today, very, very tired. I don't have a clear sense of why, whether it's the fine emotional experiences I'm getting these days, or just getting up early for the chiropractor all the time.

In part I'm crabby because I've felt sort of single recently, and I've been re-learning how to do that. What I'm discovering is that there are certain habits and qualities that I associate with being single--independence, forthrightness, centeredness, and a certain solidity of self--which I don't necessarily associate with being in a relationship, but I now realize are very, very important things to bring into a relationship and continue to pay attention to. So first it's re-learning them, and then moving them from the "single" category into the "being me" category, as things I need to keep with me no matter what.

This does not make me less crabby. I'm sure the irritation will work itself out, if only by, uh, being irritated. And again I can distract myself, with food or drink or television, or contemplate someone else, but of course I just leave with whatever I brought with me.


Chris