huh.

Not entirely sure what's going on these days. If I let my thoughts wander on the question of why I've not made much effort to connect with people recently, I end up looking at a sort of psychic walnut with "Because I Don't Feel Like It", and inside is some knot of emotion with the real reasons. My headache and the various muscles causing it are tied to some hidden stress I'm not seeing clearly, either purposefully or no. It could be because as my head has cleared a bit I've thought more about havings kids, and my life at the moment is markedly unsuited for that; but I don't think that's it, it's just an avenue into something deeper. Life is a bit turbulent and uncertain, and part of the way through it is to overcome and let go of fear; maybe I've been ignoring it rather than letting it go, so it's piled up. I've done that before.

I think I'm busy rearranging myself to live in a much more open and relaxed manner. That's good, but it seems to be tiring.

Whatever happens will be fine. All I have to do is let go and allow the universe to unfold and occur in its own way and its own time.


Chris