Now and again I get a visceral reminder that I am, in some ways, not okay; that I still have a lot of powerful crap floating around in my head; and that the practice of aikido is insufficient for resolving these things, and I need to be meditating again. My mind, the endless chatter of thoughts, is acting up, getting caught on things and having difficulty letting go, obscuring who I am.

This shock, while coming in the form of anxiety and therefore not fun, is a good thing.