I got home even a little before ten tonight, the earliest in a long time. I feel like I haven't spent any time at home in the past month: it's just been a place to sleep in between going somewhere else. So it's nice, while all my stuff is still here, to have a night or two to come home and not do much of anything. Did I do that earlier in the week? Maybe I did. I don't remember.

Work has been fairly sucktastic this week, as I've had tight deadlines on a lot of work that I don't actually know how to do, or at least that's how it feels. Today went pretty well until I discovered I had to rewrite the code I'd written; not only that, but the rewritten version is about one-quarter the size. So I had a wave of feeling clunky and incompetent, which I'm usually not, whatever I'm doing...but it's an ancient, familiar feeling to me, and an easy road to go down.

I've sort of given up on the dojo in Richmond, since I've been there maybe three or four times in the past few weeks. I'm just not interested any more in cutting my work short and always being rushed so I can go deal with traffic to get to class more or less on time. So I officially joined Aikido West. I'm tired of driving in general, and very ready to be moved to the new place.

It's a nice feeling that so many people seem to be so happy that I'll be around more.

I think all of my tiredness and self-criticism is now coalescing into bedtime.