sick.

I've finally gotten sick, a month or two after everyone else. I don't mind, really: it's very emotionally connected, and I love that my feelings have this physical manifestation. It makes them tangible and real. Another bonus seems to be that the sickness is helping me sleep, which is great, because I haven't been sleeping anywhere near enough over the past few months. I came home from work today and slept for two hours, and I feel all good to sleep at least another eight tonight, so maybe I'm playing catchup.

Here's how it's all connected: I have a head cold. This has created pressure in my sinuses, which run all around the eyes. So I have a headache, but the sinus pressure is also pressing on my jaw muscles, causing them to tighten. The tight jaw muscles pull and push on other muscles in my head (you have lots of muscles around the surface of your skull), including the muscles right below the occipital knob (the place in the back of your head where it stops being bone and starts being softer bits). Those muscles pull all the muscles along the spine and eventually cause my lower back to tighten up. Those muscles, in turn, are connected to deep muscles going down my hips and the backs of my legs to my knees; those leg muscles get pulled and tightened, pulling my knee joints out of their natural, painless shape. Sinuses to jaw to head to lower back to knees, all connected.

I have the house to myself for the weekend, and I'm taking the time to be by myself and let any feelings work themselves out, and to sleep and read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and generally enjoy solitude. Since the start of the year, and especially the past couple of months, I don't feel lonely any more: if I want company or friendship, I just have to ask, and I can find someone to play with. So I'm really content to be by myself a lot, knowing that I'm absolutely not isolated in my life. I'm good company.


Chris