Most of the time humanity makes me laugh. Other times, not so much.
I don't really have any energy right now. Or I don't feel like it. I summon it, clearly, since I put useful amounts of effort into things. I keep doing my work, although it's been a bit dull this week. I don't really have energy for aikido, but I do it anyway, somehow, because it's what I do. I worry a lot, probably too much. Mostly it's just worrying, though, and not something actually being wrong, so that's okay.
I think one of the many things disorienting me right now is that I have stress associated with aikido, where it has always been the refuge. There is no refuge, though, so having to face that stress in an unexpected place is, perhaps, good training.
Mostly I just feel tired and a little down. Lots of happy points, but very tired. I think I've just reached my capacity for unresolved stuff in my life pushing all my psychological buttons at the same time, and things will settle a bit with some minimal action on my part.