Does this seem excessive to anyone else?


I have a job interview tomorrow! It's in San Mateo, which would wreak havoc with my aikido training, but this isn't the time in the business cycle when we get to be really picky about this sort of thing. I have only minimal information, but the job looks okay, well within my ability, and I'd even get to learn new skills.

I did a whole aikido class tonight, for the first time in a while. I got yet another lesson in exactly how lightning-fast Sensei can kick my ass when she used me for a brief demo for someone, and she took me down so fast in an unexpected direction that I barely had time to go down correctly, and I went down hard and it was so fast it was like I blacked out. Holy crap.

I fell a little bit on my left shoulder (my right one is the one I separated a couple months ago), and it felt like maybe I separated it a little bit, but it doesn't hurt at all, so I think it's fine.

I want to go to Denver for this seminar, being held in honor of Sensei's teacher, but I'm about 80% decided that it can't happen unless I find work. I will go to Fresno on February 1st, though, for another seminar.

I'm not sure I have anything to say today. It's been a mostly slow day of not doing much; I'm okay, with sadness coming and going; the ice and heat are helping my shoulder and I'm going to start strengthening it soon with one of those surgical-tubing things; and much of my disappointment about the United States and the world in general is predicated on the idea that humanity should progress and develop to accomplish greater things and evolve into greater wisdom, and I'm thinking that that idea both gives short shrift to the impermanance of phenomena, and makes me really depressed and angry, so maybe it's not such a great idea.

I know, you read this journal for the days when I have thoughts, or maybe the times when I describe stuff like this morning at breakfast when I had a double mocha in a big glass mug and I was watching the bubbles and realizing that the framework of interstices is a series of physical supports like beams and girders and rafters in houses, and I could see them tense and contract under the weight of the whipped cream and see it sink, a fraction of a millimeter at a time, into the hot coffee. And how that seemed like a perfect embodiment of such fundamental concepts in how things in the world hold themselves up, and I watched and laughed for a few minutes.

Oof, so tired. Job interview tomorrow, and Sensei is doing an entire class on high falls, which I'd like to be able to do.