hellfire.

Ah, That 70s Show:

    [Hyde has been kissing his friend's girlfriend]
    Hyde: What can I say? She's hot.
    Eric: No, dude. You only think she's hot BECAUSE SHE'S MADE OF HELLFIRE.
    

Not that any of this matters. I woke up around 0730 this morning, not quite as early as I intended: I'm discovering I need to get up before noon, because for some reason wasting an entire day instead of half a day makes me feel better. So I've started leaving my curtains down but the blinds up, which lets in enough sunlight to wake me up and maybe help me make some vitamin D.

And it was an okay day, for a while, and then it wasn't, and then it got worse, and at the moment I don't really care about much of anything except hiding here in my room and waiting for the day to be over.

Nothing quite so challenging as being happy for a newly-employed friend. I'm 99% sure there's nothing wrong with me, at least on the work end of things. Really. I've looked at my resume many times. It's a fine resume. I know lots of stuff and I'm smart and I'm good at what I do. I'm also now hoping I can get a job as good as working technical support or loading stuff in a warehouse. Terrific. Not that I'd mind working in a warehouse, especially these days. I'll stay there a year if I can pay rent and aikido fees with it and they promise not to lay me off.

This probably means I'll go to class the rest of this week, since aikido has become my way of letting off steam and getting more centered. More effective than drinking and smoking, I guess, which is good, because what with the exercising and all, those things don't feel good any more.

Bah.


Chris